Consumer Advisory

These poems really
might not be about you

but that is not guaranteed
Read further at your own risk.

There are no typographical

or grammatical errors

in this manuscript.

Every line is exactly

as it was supposed to be

but I never re-read
anything I write

so, please, take this advisory

with a
suitably large helping of salt.*

*Small Print Disclaimer:
Some of these poems
were actually written by other people
who made the mistake of sending them to me
since I am a notorious thief.

I didn’t keep track of which poems were stolen
so if you see something here that you think you wrote,
I will gladly footnote the poem to that effect
in the next edition.

This is actually the last edition so,
if I did steal something from you,
you are shit out of luck.
Don’t bother trying to sue me
because I’m probably already dead
(or I will be by the time you get around to reading this.)

This is also the First Edition.
It might actually be worth something someday.
Please do not bend, fold, spindle or mutilate.

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