Consumer Advisory
These poems really
might not be about you
but that is not guaranteed:
Read further at your own risk.
There are no typographical
or grammatical errors
in this manuscript.
Every line is exactly
as it was supposed to be
but I never re-read
anything I write
so, please, take this advisory
with a suitably large helping of salt.*
*Small Print Disclaimer:
Some of these poems
were actually written by other people
who made the mistake of sending them to me
since I am a notorious thief.
I didn’t keep track of which poems were stolen
so if you see something here that you think you wrote,
I will gladly footnote the poem to that effect
in the next edition.
PS:
This is actually the last edition so,
if I did steal something from you,
you are shit out of luck.
Don’t bother trying to sue me
because I’m probably already dead
(or I will be by the time you get around to reading this.)
PPS:
This is also the First Edition.
It might actually be worth something someday.
Please do not bend, fold, spindle or mutilate.
koshersalaami
08/17/2021 @ 12:15 am
The probability that you will ever plagiarize any poetry I’ve ever written is so remote as to not be worthy of consideration. I am not losing sleep over that.
Alan Milner
08/17/2021 @ 9:58 am
Oh, yee of little faith. Besides, you’re not one of those I had in mind.
koshersalaami
08/18/2021 @ 12:52 am
I didn’t think so