IF GOD WERE
If god were a gardener,
he’d be fired soon enough
for the way that he has failed
to maintain the garden he made.
If god were a director,
he’d be fired right away,
for failing to keep to the script
and allowing the actors to ad lib.
If god were a producer,
he’d lose his shirt
when the audience turned away
sickened by the mess he made.
If god were an editor,
he’d be asked to turn himself in
to the thought police he permitted
to take over the whole damned place.
If god were a chef who refused
to follow his own recipes,
he would soon be relegated
to hell’s kitchen with the other riff-raff.
The only reason god still has a job is
that he wrote the rules he disobeys.
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