IF GOD WERE

If god were a gardener,
he’d be fired soon enough
for the way that he has failed
to maintain the garden he made.

If god were a director,
he’d be fired right away,
for failing to keep to the script
and allowing the actors to ad lib.

If god were a producer,
he’d lose his shirt
when the audience turned away
sickened by the mess he made.

If god were an editor,
he’d be asked to turn himself in
t
o the thought police he permitted
to take over the whole damned place.

If god were a chef who refused
to follow his own recipes,
he would soon be relegated
to hell’s kitchen with the other riff-raff.

The only reason god still has a job is
that he wrote the rules he disobeys.

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