Mr W’s College Recommendation Fee Schedule

I had a rep for knocking out the best sure-fire college recs around, to the point where after a few years at my first prep school, in the ’70s and ’80s, kids with the flimsiest, most tenuous tethers to me would plead. I could rarely say No and they knew it. The story was that my letters to admissions officers were so smashing that even though seniors knew I’d never lie or stretch, even the ones whose most meaningful tie to me was a ‘hiya’ on the soccer field or b-ball court, would ask.

It got to the point where Gideon, an enterprising student (and, of course, now a successful L.A. Attorney) suggested I publish

MR W’s COLLEGE RECOMMENDATION FEE SCHEDULE

And so we did.

Fifty flyers were printed and distributed and while perhaps they didn’t tickle the heart of every admin, the Headmaster, I knew, would privately love it and he did.

We considered including a shot of me on the flyer looking like a TV clear-plastic-slipcover pitch-man, but Gideon–and this was in his teenage, pre-attorney days–said I would have more deniability without my mug on the thing. Uh huh.

To the best of my recollection, it looked a lot like this:

 

HE’S COME THROUGH FOR THE CLASSES OF ’76, ’77, ’78, ’79, AND

HE WILL

COME THROUGH FOR

Y O U  !

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

THE FINE LAD/FINE LASS LETTER  $50

THE VERY GOOD-SOUL LETTER  $50

THE DETERMINED, UPRIGHT YOUTH LETTER $75

THE ALL-AROUND GOOD GUY/GAL LETTER $75

THE MORE-ATHLETE-THAN-SCHOLAR LETTER $100

THE COOPERATIVE CHILD LETTER  $5

THE REBEL-WITH-A-HEART LETTER  $125

THE REFORMED BULLY LETTER  $150

THE COMMUNITY-MINDED BUT-NOT-A-LOT-ELSE-CHILD LETTER  $200

THE YET-TO-BE-DISCOVERED-AS-HAVING-POTENTIAL-BUT S/HE-SURE-WILL !  LETTER  $300

THE ONE-IN-TEN-THOUSAND-KID-AND-ALL-FOR-GREAT REASONS! LETTER  $500

THE ONCE-IN-A-GENERATION-STUDENT LETTER  $1,000

THE MOSES, ST. PAUL, BUDDHA LETTER   $25,000

THE SECOND-COMING-OF-    (fill-in-here)  LETTER   $100,000

cash: no cards, no checks

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