Open-Call: The Most Idiotic Lie We Told Our Parents
On 30 September 1960, at 8:30 in the evening, The Flintstones, hoping to capitalize on the The Honeymooners too-brief run, debuted on ABC. I was nine. I was keen to stay up.
In order to have my wise parents allow me wisely to watch wise Fred, wise Wilma, wise Barney, wise Betty, and sage Dino, I decided to approach my scholarly parents as their so-wise and scholarly son.
As mom reminded me it was time to get ready for bed, I told them that ABC had a very important new television program coming on soon and that even though it was a cartoon — my father’s eyebrows flew up instantly — our teacher, Mrs. B., wanted us to learn from it, that it would contain many valuable scientific lessons.
My mother’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, is that right? What kinds of lessons?'”
I ventured (my voice sincere): “She wants us to learn about how people as well as human beings lived in Dinosaur-Times.”
Memory is, yes, often too kind, often laced with grace: I’ve no detailed recall of what was said or done next. I do know I was in my lightless room in lightning order, my AM crystal-set radio confiscated ’til morning.
Please consider sharing an idiotic lie you told as a child.
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