Sharks Bite Three in One Day on Same Beach in Separate Attacks

Sharks Bite Three in One Day on Same Beach in Separate Attacks:  Three people are recovering after being bitten by sharks on the very same day at New Smyrna Beach in Florida, a beach that has the rather dubious reputation of being known as “the Shark Capital of the World.”

So, let me get this straight – we have a beach with a nasty reputation for shark attacks, we have 3 people bitten by sharks within the last 24 hours – and yet Floridians are still head right in the water for a swim?  Well. all I can say is, hold my beer!

In fact, a quick check over at the Florida Museum of Natural History reveals there have been a total of 1,441 “unprovoked” shark attacks in the US since 1837, the majority (828) occurring right in Florida.  Unprovoked attacks?  That has me wondering, just how many “provoked attacks” have there been?  

Anyway, when asked about the situation, an angry NRA spokesperson said “these ruthless attacks have to be stopped,” and is proposing arming all beach goers.  On the other hand, the Trump administration is taking a bit more conciliatory approach, suggesting signs be posted in the water that read “No Biting!”  

Meanwhile, Hawaii presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard says she knows a few things about sharks herself and, while not condoning the attacks, claims that “humans have been making loads of money off Shark Week for a long time now and have never, ever offered to share any the profits – and they wonder why the sharks bite?”

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