Taking a Brick to His Head–Advice to the Bullied
Charles Blow once wrote a New York Times column that was a poignant memory of a time he was bullied as a child. While I was, too, by a neighbor a few years my elder, I also had two pals from very early on who were not only popular but weren’t about to allow me to be harmed when they were about. That helped considerably.
What stopped my bully for good, though, wasn’t my pals’ presence nor was it my parents’ raised concerns to my bully’s. What stopped him after six or more years was my decision (I recall it clear-as-a-bell) to take up a random brick as he was trying to yank me hard into the sticker-bushes separating my backyard from his…to smack very him hard in the center of his forehead. As most head-wounds do, his bled wildly. I recall my surge of delight as he staggered then ran into his house. That my parents supported me when his called, outraged…that delighted me nearly as much as my new-found assertiveness and his teary, bloodied face.
I’ve never for a moment regretted that brick to Stevie’s sad and deliciously scarred twelve-year-old head. I’m sure, too, it and the years that led to it, influenced my take and responses to bullying when I was a public and independent school teacher/admin. While I never handed a bullied kid a brick, I never counseled a child to take it passively and without a just response. I don’t regret that, either.
Art W. Stone
08/31/2019 @ 11:30 am
Good for you.
I had a period of about a year when I was not allowed out much and was confined to bed for illness. I read non-stop. When I was cleared to emerge and tried to keep up with the others who knew how to ride bicycles and such, the bullying commenced.
I never whimpered, and gained a reputation as an oddball who would fight back even the biggest and meanest kid or two in the neighborhood.
Bullying has stuck in my craw since and I have the scars on my knuckles yet to remind me.
Jonathan Wolfman
08/31/2019 @ 11:32 am
See: I always knew you and I had much in common. 🙂
Jonna Connelly
08/31/2019 @ 11:43 am
Me too! For some reason the neighborhood bully was threatening my baby brother, young enough for me to carry on my hip at only 8. Mike threatened him but worse than threatening a baby, he referred to him as “Timothy JOHN Connelly” when we had worked for months to teach the neighborhood that “Sean” was not pronounced “seen” but to rhyme with JOHN, I was horrified at the sheer ignorance. (The horrible approximation, Shawn, had not yet been introduced to the world.) Upon hearing that, I picked up a handy 2×4 and applied it to the bully’s head. Problem solved.
Mike not only never bothered me after that, he fell in love with me and that lasted until he married, some 10 years later. Parents were not brought into it because they just weren’t. When I spent my final year of high school at the public school where Mike was the football quarterback and a big star, he made a point of telling the world that I had beat him up regularly when we were kids. I didn’t correct him.
Jonathan Wolfman
08/31/2019 @ 11:46 am
Brava!
(He respected you for your moxie.)
Jonna Connelly
08/31/2019 @ 11:59 am
Bah – he respected me because he feared I could & would beat the shit out of him 2×4 or not. 🙂
Jonathan Wolfman
08/31/2019 @ 12:01 pm
Yes; that’s what I mean.