Dear Madame Vice President

Dear Madame  Vice President:

I’ve been getting a lot of emails from Democratic honchos like the president, his wife, and yourself, Madame Vice President,  and a lot of other Democratic honchos, about half of whom I have never heard of before…but they are all e couched in a very familiar, informal form of address.

Your most recent one triggered this reaction. I am posting it here because, as sure as Jesus was a Jew, you will never see it any other way.

Here, someone who knows someone might possibly bring these comments to your collective attentions. I promise you that you will be the better for it. Here are some tips from a thought manipulation professional.

Stop sending me – or anyone else – emails that are designed to suggest that there is some familiarity between us. This informal form of address actually antagonizes your target population who know very well that you don’t really give a shit about us as individuals…because you are incapable of doing so.

So just stop doing that.

You are alienating the very people you need to mobilize. The familiar form of address never works when you are trying to raise funds…or consciousness.

That’s not your fault. It is a function of your role in life. Let me put it this way: I remember very vividly every famous person I have ever met but, because I am not a famous person myself, none of those famous people have the slightest idea of who I am or what I think about the issues of our times.

I have proven this theory to my own satisfaction several times over by meeting the same very famous people at fairly regular intervals over a number of months…and they never remember me.

I’m not surprised. Very famous people are each in the center of their own little universe, called the cocoon by people who know about such things. They are way too busy being famous to actually connect with the few and far between “normals” who succeed in piercing their almost impermeable shields.

When we do that, we’re categories as an annoyance, a hindrance, an obstacle or a threat. The result is that you have probably not met a single real human being in quite some time now.

In the years that I spent as a professional fundraiser, I was on a first-name basis with some very rich and very famous people…until it was time to make the ask, at which point I would immediately switch to a very formal form of address. Trying to gouge a serious donation from anyone using a familiar form of address will not have the desired effect….unless you really have an intimate, peer-to-peer relationship with the target.

So, please stop it. You don’t know me and you don’t care about me as an individual and pretending that you do just makes you appear to be a fool and we don’t need any more fools in politics. We already have enough of them.

Sincerely,

An Independent Voter Registered as a Democrat because what are the efficacious alternatives?

 

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